By Gladys Osemwegie

EVERYBODY needs comfort, though women cherish it more than their male counterparts. Even the men appreciate the fact that the only word which dominates the thoughts of women is “comfort”. For this reason, men go to any length to please their female counterparts, particularly in a marriage set up. Armed with this knowledge, some men ensure that their wife is comfortable and pampered to the extent of pledging: “my wife should not work.”

In the glorious past, only men played the bread-winning role while women were full time housewives. The economy then was good, in fact, buoyant while free and cheap services added credence to the trend then. So much so that nobody or institution really queried the rationale for being a full time housewife, or the practice “my wife should not work”. But today, the economy has continuously witnessed a down turn and with the inflationary trend, our standard of living is low. Apart from the unfavourable economy, one expresses reservations on the glaring implications of a woman not employed or engaged in any business. People regard such women not working nowadays as lazy bones.

When a husband tells his wife not to work, it is assumed that he will be able to meet all her financial obligation, some gullible women, maybe, out of excitement or ignorance would readily jump at the offer. After all, who wants to suffer. She needs both money and time to pamper herself and become comfortable. All the houseboys and girls are at her service too. But such women has forgotten that there is always a day of reckoning. It looks stupid for a woman to just sit at home doing nothing at all because somebody promised to take care of all her needs. It is also very stupid to always asked for every kobo you need from somebody.

It makes such woman a liability. Even God recognises the importance and reward for labour hence he says: “He who does not work, should not eat,” on the other hand, the same God enjoins a woman to be submissive to her husband in everything,” in which case she has no option than to obey his instructions. The woman, is therefore put in a very tight corner. For the woman, she is likely to be bored and constitute a nuisance to those at home. As she is caged, she sees or knows nothing beyond her home and she might not be able to interact well with the outside world. She will likewise lack the initiative and experiences of co-ordinating both human and material resources for positive results. In fact, she would have problem with running or handling any business of her own. So, being idle would have great psychological effects on her.

The worst blow on her is when the “Life partnership seal” is in disarray. Should her husband venture to send her packing, then she will have the rudest shock of her life. How and where will she start from rehabilitating herself? She will find it extremely difficult to gather the bits and pieces of her life. I have learnt from the experiences of two housewives who were carried shoulder high by their husband, only to be dropped from that highly exalted position. And of course today, they have many more regrets than the fun and joy they thought they were drowned in. One of the victims has gone into petty trading while the other is still bemoaning her fate.

Also in the event of her husband’s death, she is in for the worst too, as she has never been employed or engaged in anything of her own. So where does she begin from. Stories abound of husband’s family and relatives claiming everything that belongs to their brother in the advent of his death.

This is one of the reasons why such a woman readily suffer from hypertension at the slightest problem.
As a coin has two sides, the issue of a wife not working has its merits and demerits, the couples should please weigh the pros and cons before deciding, but I think it is not an ideal thing to do.

The woman should be encouraged to make financial contributions towards the up-keep of the family as her children would be encouraged to appreciate hard work through her example.
In case you disagree with my views or have contributions, please send in your reactions.
God bless you.