IK, You Nearly Killed Me

By Austin Allens

I left the office quite early on Monday. I went to attend to my wife who had been in pains for two weeks. During this period, I help attend to the house chores. Sometime, I wake up late in the night to give a helping hand. But these things changed when the news of the demise Monday Edomwande, close friends reached me late last week.

On Tuesday, I arrived home without the cheerfulness my children hold me in high esteem. Why should I be happy when my better half had been on the ground for close to three weeks? Why should I be happy when the lady who keeps encouraging me, cannot even stand to embrace me, much more hugging? I had been depressed when the news reached me that Monday

Edomwande, the linksman between my family in the village and I had passed on? I had not gotten over the pains of losing Richard Onyemike Osakwe and a bossom friend had to squeeze through the gate to the great beyond. All these made me to leave office quite early.

As I got home, IK was on hand to open the gate and I drove in quietly. I met the mother, as usual, on the floor. The depression was trying to set in and I needed cold water to quench the attack.

IK dashed into the room while I discussed with the mother. She went for money and at the same time, somebody was banging or trying to pull down the door to the store. Whereupon IK shouted on the person that she was coming. She went to attend to the caller and before we know it, IK opened the gate and crossed. Nobody knew her direction. She merely darted across the road and that was all I could say. Before then, a man who had been owing the store for over five months came to settle his bills. My number one suspect, therefore, was the man, especially now that kidnapping is rampant.

I Jumped out of my sitting position to look for IK, my senior daughter. I searched all nooks and crannies; who sai! I ran back to the other street, no dice.

Could it be that people kidnapped my daughter? Could it be those who had not been wishing me well, came into the compound and took my daughter away at gunpoint?

At this juncture, the mother who had not stood up for quite a time, was by my side at the gate. She rang out IK. IK. IK and no response.

Sweat bead formed on the nape of my nook. I felt like going to the loo – something that has not happened for a long time. I had complained to my wife that I had constipation and there was nothing she had not recommended including ducolax. From there, I went for plenty of vegetable and rounded off with pineapple. Nothing happened. But as soon as IK matter came up, I was like depositing the whole thing on my trousers.

While I was busy emptying my bowels in the toilet, my wife was by the side of the store, urinating. Where is IK? Even my mother in-law joined in the futile search.

It was from there I took a decision to look for IK myself. I was still deciding on the shift to wear when IK came out. She went to buy cold pure water without informing anybody. I do not need to tell you that I could not eat that evening.

Although IK has promised she will not repeat the act again. But will she keep the promise?