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Questions to ask before you get married

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By Susan Piver (12-08-15)

Question 1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?
*MONEY*

Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?
*Free Labor*

Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
*MONEY*

Question 4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means and through what efforts?
*MONEY*

Question 5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?
*MONEY*

Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?
*MONEY*

Question 7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
*MONEY*

Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?
*MONEY*

Question 9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
*Humpin*

Question 10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?
*more humpin*

Question 11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?
*FINALLY SOME QUESTION ABOUT SPENDING TIME TOGETHER!!!*

Question 12: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
*Good points*

Question 13: What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?
*Important to understand that things will change with time.*

Question 14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?
*Depends on the current climate at that time*

Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?
*Seems like this question should be in the top three above*

Question 16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
*this also should have been asked sooner, family and love is more important that money Smile*

Question 17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?
*Irrevelant*

Question 18: What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
*Irrevelant, these question seems to feed the needs of an insecure partner*

Question 19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
*This should have been learned while dating*

Question 20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?
*Again, this seems to be more important than to be question 20 of 20 on a pre-marriage survey*

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